Thought Power... Your thoughts create your reality.. Path to positive living....

The lives we live the thoughts we think, the things we fear all play such a big part in our many failures.  We ourselves create what we fear the most: ridicule, criticism, anger, being left out or talked about..

 Overgeneralization: we take a single negative event and assume that event will become a pattern.  (For instance, after a breakup, we conclude, “No one will ever want me.  I’ll be alone forever.”)  This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, affecting our choices and the opportunities to which we avail ourselves.  (If you think no one will ever want you, how much confidence to you think you’re going to give off?)

Labeling: we take a single negative action and generalize it to the person who committed it — ourselves or someone else.  (For instance, after getting fired, we conclude, “I’m a failure.”  Or, your spouse does something to hurt you and you conclude, “He is a selfish person.”)  This, too, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you treat someone as selfish, is he more or less likely to be kind to you in the future?  If you tell yourself you’re a failure, what are the chances you’ll take any risks that might lead to success?

Worst-Case-Scenario Thinking: Pessimists usually say that life has taught them to be that way.  They think they are protecting themselves from disappointment by expecting the worst, no matter how unlikely it might be.   All this, when more often than not, the things we fear don’t even happen! 

Most people have it backwards , believing that they feel or think a certain way because of their circumstances, not knowing the truth that it is their thought power that is creating those very circumstances, whether wanted or unwanted. By internalizing and applying this Truth, that your thoughts create your reality, you will grant yourself the power to create the changes you want to see manifest in your life. Reality creation is an inside job.

Thought power is the key to creating your reality. Everything you perceive in the physical world has its origin in the invisible, inner world of your thoughts and beliefs. To become the master of your destiny, you must learn to control the nature of your dominant, habitual thoughts. By doing so, you will be able to attract into your life that which you intend to have and experience as you come to know the Truth that your thoughts create your reality.

There is a great deal of power in what you think, not because of metaphysics, but because thoughts become words, and words become actions, and actions bear consequences in our lives, whether good or bad..

 

The process is indifferent – it works in both directions.  Choose your thoughts wisely... 

Dear past , Dear present , Dear future .... : A letter from a single mother

So it's been along time since I've written anything mostly because I've been living life being a mother, a father, a daughter, a co-worker, a friend, a house keeper the works! Being a single mother means you wear many hats and play many roles. In the last few months I can say I've experience extreme highs & extreme lows and today on Mother's Day I'm finding the strength to let things go.......

Dear Past; 

Thanks for all the lessons and experiences you given me.  For so long I have been resentful and angry for the way thing turned out but today I will move forward forgiving but never forgetting.. I will no longer hold on to the hurtful memories or the hard times that I have overcome instead I will celebrate them for making me who I am...

For all the sleepless nights waking up when my daughter cried, I fixedher bottles even though I was half asleep. If I felt horrible, like hell had ran me over, or sick as a dog, I have put it all aside and jump the minute that she needed me. When she spitup all over the sheets, Right after i washed them Only to do it all again as soon as I put them on the bed. When she pooped everywhere, I didnt gag. I cleaned it up and went  about my business. I wasnt out everyday, and if i was she went  with me. I would feed her, clean her, put her to sleep, talk to her, sing to her, take care of her, before I would ever think about doing something for myself first.  I’ve had to sacrifice everything DOUBLE because of the choices in men i made I chose  the ones that wanted drugs,girlfriend,partying and dumb stuff that they thought and still think is more more important than being a man,but I’ve come to really not mind,because I know I’m doing a better job than they ever could.  You're welcome! You're welcome for me stepping in and being everything you could never be! 

For all the relationships that have failed I thank you for showing me everything i dont want and teaching me to stand my own! Thank you for showing me what real so when it comes along again I can forever appreciate it!  Today past I declare that you will not define me, you will not anger me an you will not hold me back anther second!  

Dear present; 

Bring it on! 

I will be it all.  I will be our children’s mother and father, the rock they lean on the person who wipes away their tears away. I'm loving everyday and every new experience. Witnessing my daughter turn into a beautiful young woman and feeling my son grow inside me is worth more than anything I could ever ask for.  When I wake up. I get to watch my daughter explore life. I get to see her realize that those hands of hers can actually do something, and that those feet are meant to walk. I get to listen to her laugh. Hear her stories, watch her learn and grow and  I get to wipe away her tears when she cries.  Everyday I grow as woman as a mother as a person and I am embracing the change!!! 

Dear future;

I want you to know that I come with a lot of baggage. I don’t have my head on just right. I say things out of line, i’m over emotional. I cry for no reason, and when I’m angry.. oh, you just don’t want to mess with me when i’m angry. But I have a beautiful little girl and king on the way, And I have a beautiful soul. And I want you to know, whoever you are, that I promise we can have a beautiful life, home, relationship, and forever. I promise to be loyal loving unjudgmental , appreciate you like no other & cherish every moment! 

Thankful for my struggles....

As we approach Thanksgiving I'm sitting and trying to explain the true meaning of Thanksgiving to my daughter and I couldn't help but think, I reflect on thankfulness and the past few months. It's been a hard year coming out of a recent recession & dealing with multiple family problems… I keep coming back to the most basic question- For what things are we thankful?

Conventional wisdom would indicate that we are usually thankful when life is good- or- when things go our way- or when things work out in our favor. And while we may not be great at giving thanks to God on a regular basis during the good times, we each know that the regular rhythm of our life ought to be in thanksgiving to God.

However, and maybe to your surprise, the Scriptures go even further than simply giving thanks during the good times. They point us to a place where we give thanks in our pain, our heartache, our weakness, and in our loss.

This year I am thankful for my struggle, I am thankful for all the hard times I've endured and lived to tell about it. I'm Thankful for the strength & wisdom I've gained while making a way out of no way. I've been humbled this year to say the least and I'm thankful for the reality check I have received. Im Thankful for everything I've lost because it made me realize how much I can live without. I'm thankful for all the idiots I've met along the way because I can truly appreciate the sincere people in my life.

I'm can feel myself growing up as things that were once so important have so little meaning. People's thoughts and opinions affect me less. I'm learning to live for moments that take my breathe away and people that share those moments with me.

"I asked God to protect me from my enemies & I started losing friends"

I am thankful that in my times of need that the people in my life revealed the depth of their loyalty or lack there of!

I'm thankful for all the new people I've come in contact with that have reminded me how much worse things could be or simply shared just their struggle and trusted me with no ego. When people share their struggles in life as part of their journey towards healing, I am always impressed. Some share out of a deep place of healing, others share as part of a process of moving towards healing and still others share as a cathartic release of emotions and thoughts. When people share their stories out of a place of genuine humanity, it is holy. It is also a privilege to be let into their lives in some small way.

This week I have been inspired by a few folks who have reminded me of the courage to publicly share struggles, not only for their own healing, but for the healing of others. Their words are powerful.

Appreciating the person I am and the gifts that I have, something occurred to me. I don’t give full credit where credit is due. Yes, I give thanks for the pleasurable, comforting and rewarding experiences of my life. But I forget that I owe much of my thanks to something totally different—life’s struggles.

My inner strength was not developed through picking flowers and partying every day. Instead, I am the strong, resilient woman that I am because I’ve chosen to get back up repeatedly after being knocked down.

Each time I suffered a little, I gained a little more strength. When I suffered greatly, I gained even greater resistance to weakness and realized that I set my own limitations.

Integrity didn’t become one of my strongest character traits because I’ve only been exposed to honest, fair and noble people. I learned the importance of this characteristic by being hurt by those who lacked it.

I am the person who I am today, not because I had a perfect childhood or the most supportive friends, but because that wasn’t always so. I am the person who I am today, not because I’ve always trusted the right people and made the right decisions, but because I sometimes screwed up.

I am not resourceful because everything and everyone have always been there for me. Instead, I learned resourcefulness because of what was NOT there. Thanks to life’s struggles, thanks to the experience of lack, I learned to create or workaround what isn’t laid at my feet.

No matter who you are, there is something wonderful about you. You have something that is of great value to family, friends, strangers, and the Universe as a whole. So, here is the challenge: As you appreciate everything you have to be thankful for, don’t forget about your struggles. Life’s struggles need not be something that you loathe, regret and avoid. They have value. And that value trickles down to create the whole of you and me.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein

He's just not that into you .....

We all remember the movie comical clever but a harsh reality for some women! "He's Not that into you" You know the now famous line that originated from HBO’s “Sex in the City” and how after hearing it the whole dating world came to make sense to Miranda. Well, she wasn’t the only one it made sense to. It really resonated with me and brought my whole dating life into perspective. "He's just not that into you"
If your guy always/constantly puts his friends and his plans in front of you then he's just not that into you.
We all have had the crush that went on for months and sometimes even years without going anywhere no matter what we did or didn’t do. For a period of time we would comfort ourselves by saying that he just didn’t know we were serious, he's waiting for me to prove i can be the woman he wants etc etc We constantly make excuses for their behavior and give them the benefit of the doubt in hopes that possibly they are just too busy! The minute you stop making excuses for people you will begin to see them for exactly who they are! Now then there's the guy who's alway out with friends but makes no time for you yea that bro's before hoes shit was probably a valid argument from grammar school up to about 10th grade depending on the guy but after that, if he knows you and still behaves like that hea either extremely childish or he’s not interested. If he wanted you for anything he’d ask for it. However, that’s just too hard and/or sad to face because we are awesome so how could he not be into us and furthermore, if we’re not busy liking him what are we going to do with our attentions? Been there, done that. Let’s just focus on ourselves and making them achingly dwell on the fact that they missed out on their chance with us.
How about the guy that we actually are dating but acts like we are the last priority when they are not with us because he’s busy with work, friends, family or other commitments? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that there’s a future with this guy. Chances are very good that he’s never going to appreciate you for more than he does now, someone that’s willing to wait around until he has time for you. You deserve more than that. If he was really into you, you’d never question why he isn’t spending time with you because he’d be spending as much time as you wanted.
How about the guy that would prefer to be with another girl over you? The only thing that she has that you don’t is him. And frankly, it’s better that way. You should never be second choice, part time chic or treated like an option! Treat me like an option and ill treat you like an object #Replaceable. You always want to be his first choice. Then you’ll know he’s really into you.

Guys use a different language with girls that they want to keep around in case they change their mind or are loosely dating. It's called boyspeak. If he's giving you some semblance of the truth or an outright lie then he's giving you boyspeak and that is biggest of indicators that he is just not that into you. If a guy never bothers to ask if you're seeing someone or if you have a man is probably only interested in one thing and could care less If you have a man, he's secretly hoping you do so he can make a swift escape after pulling up his jeans. If the only effort he makes to see you is for one thing and he never asks to take you out or around his friends or family he's just not that into you!

But then sometimes they are into you & may genuinely just have a busy life well fellas let me say this if you are interested you better make an effort & make it quickly. Woman chose to lose interest quickly when they feel they're not getting the attention they want! Or cant decipher if your genuinely busy or just a damn good bullshitter! Well I do anyway I can't speak for everyone but if you give me too many suspect excuses I'll lose interest quick af! Send me to voicemail too many times I'll delete your number quick af but that's just me.... I'm the type if a dude hang up on me he thinking he giving me time to cool off by I'll be done changed my number so fast and have him talking to the operator confused as fuk! Please believe if a man cares about you he's gonna hear you out regardless if he wants to or not! Because he knows if he doesn't he takes a chance at losing u!

At the end of the day trust your instinct follow your guy feeling! If You just don't trust the man. And what's a relationship if you don't have trust? Sit with your thoughts and come to grips with why you don't believe him. If the relationship is that important to you, after you do some soul searching and thinking on your own, sit him down for a talk. Work things through — find out what the problem is, and try to remedy the situation before it gets even more difficult.



It seems like When a guy meets a girl he likes. He starts talking to her, and there's electricity in the air. Attraction. He can tell she likes him. A lot, even.

She tells him all kinds of things about herself, her eyes wide and filled with excitement. It feels as though there's a bubble around them, in which only they exist; the outside world falls away.

For a while, as time passes, the energy and enthusiasm only builds. It builds and builds, until it hits a peak; a crescendo. And then... it begins to fade.

The guy panics mentally; he doesnt know what he's getting hisself into he can tell he's losing this girl, whom he felt so sure was his only minutes before. He works hard, trying to turn things around, to reignite the passion that was there. But alas, his efforts fail, and the fire dies.

He's fallen victim to a painful fact of life and love: attraction has an expiration date.

But what's more painful is, guys almost never realize this is why they failed. Usually they assume it was a value problem, or that they need to get better at maintaining attraction.

If only they knew the truth: they did just fine with attraction. It was, ultimately, that failure to act in a timely enough manner or put forth the appropriate effort that led them to losing the girl.

From the concrete.... Who knew that a flower could grow

"Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared. " ~ Tupac shakur

Now when you read the passage above and your think about what was being said he's talking bout the underdog making a way out of no way something that some of us are very familiar with while others will never know the real meaning of struggle.

Let's talk a little bit about statistics, we hear all the about different statistics single mothers, children in single family homes, labor statistics, education statistics and one thing that they all have in common is that they are against us. They tell is in so many ways that were never gonna make it we don't have a chance!

It is interesting that poverty usually breeds poverty, just as education breeds education. That means that where a family is situated on the socioeconomic ladder often will prevent or enhance opportunities for their children to advance in education, which results in earning a higher income.
It is often referred to as a "trap" that people are not able to get out of. Hence, the comparison.

Another interesting fact is that there are notable people, some of them celebrities, that had an opportunity to break out of the status quo and gain more education and move to better neighborhoods, even to mansions or castles. I'm thinking of several NBA players, as well as in other sports.
They saw an opportunity, or their parents did, and they took it, enabling them to conquer poverty in their lifetime.

A third facet is the appreciation for life, an appreciation for what one has, an appreciation for spending money wisely, learning how to make it stretch and last until the next check is earned. Young people are so concerned with keeping up with the latest trend an buying the most expensive fashion all while not attempting to save a single dollar for our children's education and thus keeping the cycle going. If you camping outside of footlocker over night to buy Jordans and spending $300 a month on 16" silky straight virgin human Remi but you have no plan for childs future you are failing your child. If and when someone is able to rise above the poverty by hard work, courage, and insight about making good decisions, then they are more appreciative of the good life and want to improve the lives of their loved ones. Usually. Not always. So maybe that isn't a fact, then. But it's a phenomenon that occurs enough to be noticed.

I can remember growing up father would always tell me "Don't go broke trying to look rich" and I never really understood what he meant until these past few years.

What I'm saying in a nutshell is that as parents we are the first step to getting our kids out the cycle. I refuse to believe that if children had the opportunity to go to school and not worry about anything but getting an education that we would have such a high drop out rate. I refuse to believe that young girls aspire to grow up and be strippers & prostitutes young men to become dope dealers an thieves. They resort to things because they don't know anything else and to be real they gotta do what they gotta do. Our human survival instincts at some point kick in and put survival before our moral standards.

We have to break the cycle allow your child to be the flower that grows from the concrete.

Prey on prayer ....the hustle ....

*disclaimer* these are only my thoughts and opinions, my intention is not to discredit anyone's religion or change your views if my statements offend you feel free to stop reading at any time*

Religion : Noun:
1: a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny; "he lost his faith but not his morality"

2: institution to express belief in a divine power; "he was raised in the Baptist religion"; "a member of his own faith contradicted him"

We all have that question in the back of our head .. What makes us tick... What keeps our heart pumping & our blood flowing. What happens in the after life or If there anything that happens at all.


The purpose of Religion is to not only teach Morals and guidelines to follow through life, but also to teach hope. Through Religion people feel more comfortable with the fact that one day we will all die, because they believe they are going to a better place.
The purpose of religion is that people can have hope and not just think when you die you rot.

I am sure people believe that religion is for achieving enlightenment, progressing to heaven or paradise, or to enable worshippers to seek help in the present life from their God or gods.
Others say that religion originated for the purpose of justifying and maintaining the power and authority of the rulers, the shamans and priests.

Religion is simply the way people organize themselves. To say I'm a baptist/catholic means you organize the way you worship God in that particular fashion. While some people need religion to get them on the right track, some eventually realize how imperfect religion is. Almost 100% of the time religion will eventually hurt you, judge you, or condemn you, why, because religion is man made and run by imperfect human beings. Some of which allow their pride and thirst for control to guide their decisions, most commonly justified by the religious rules and regulations of the religion.


Why some of us believe in a higher power, divine life & fate i can't help but wonder about the fraud that is in religion. I believe people need to have religion. I think religious organizations prey on the weak.

Organized religion is a trillion dollar industry that is a fraud-based, “non-profit”, government supported empire that makes more money than Wall Street while being even more criminal. They make massive profits with “legalized” mob-like: organized crime, grand larceny, money laundering, corruption and ponzi-like schemes. Religion is like a financial black-hole that sucks resources out of economies. It is a cancerous causing parasite on humanity. So this only raises the question is religion used to prey on the weak for monetary value.

religion has been the source and the cause for most of the conflicts in the world; most of the wars and atrocities In the world were in the name of religion. That makes one wonder what is the real purpose of religion. Religion creates so much hatred and fanaticism, causing people to lose all sense of humanity, where instead, the real purpose of religion is to make people more loving, tolerant and kind.

Some may argue the opposite that They empower the weak, which is the exact opposite of "preying" on them. If Christianity makes addicts into ex-addicts, prisoners into decent people, poor/needy people into economically independent people, and educates the uneducated (and there is fine statistical evidence that it does all of these things) then they are doing the exact opposite of "preying" on them, and you need to define your terms. A drug dealer, for example, "preys" on an addict. The lottery "preys" on the poor. And someone spouting that Christians "prey" on people by empowering them, well, it might be said that that is a good example of preying on the uneducated....

Who knows whats real where we came from, where were going or how we're suppose to live in between my only thought is that do you really think by dropping your hard earned money into a building fund do you think that's going to get you to heaven?

I myself do believe in God & I have faith that there is a higher power somewhere out there that keeps us ticking, does that mean I'm going join an organized religion and let them tell me how I should or shouldn't live my life. And pay them to do so. No! People will judge simply because they sin differently than you. However, it is my belief that because someone can stand on soap box an preach out of a book pointing out all my sins how does that make you a saint?! I don't know to be honest I'm torn. Although I question If there's a man in the sky that listens to us all mumbling our problems to him at the same time doesn't mean I don't have faith.

Why some believe they will be greeted by virgins in the afterlife & others belief u will be condemned to burn everlasting. Whos to say who's elaborate story is more credible than the next.

A person that has faith in nothing is very scary because if you fear no consequence of anything of course the evils they are capable of would out way someone who is scared to "go to hell" so to speak. That's like living in a city with no jail imagine the crime that would take place. But then on the same hand u have people that do terrible things and terrorize entire civilizations, species, races that don't believe the same things they do "in the name of religion."

Religion is & will remain to be one of the most powerful things to humans. Now if that's a good or a bad thing hell I don't know.

The Strong, Independent, Lonely ass black woman .....

#BlameDestinysChild
Strong, independent I can do it all on my own I don't need no man ass woman are and will always be the loneliest souls on Earth! We are still holding out for the Perfect Black Man. Barack Obama is taken already! We have to be more open-minded when it comes to dating. I don’t mean that you have to date an ex-convict with three Baby Mamas, a parole officer, a part time dope business that he runs out his grandmas back yard, But sometimes you may earn more money than the man you are dating, or live in a fancier home, or be merely an inch shorter than him (or gasp, maybe even an inch taller). Give the guy a chance! We are human! There Is NO perfect man the trick is simply finding someone who is perfect for you! The beauty of love is finding someone who knows all your flaw, faults, & insecurities & loves you just the same.

We fear that a man will play us and are then too guarded. While some of us hang on to a no-good man for too long, others of us make each man who comes after that no-good man suffer for what the other guy did. We don’t trust him. We won’t let him in. We refuse to give him the chance of hurting us. And then we end up unscathed—but alone. In my previous blogs I've talked about the balance between having standards and being a crazy too guarded damaged woman!

Ladies stop saying "I don't need a man!" although a lot of us could live and be okay without one the fact is that I'm pretty sure thats not what you want! What man do you think is gonna stick around if all you constantly tell him you don't need him. There's an art to being a woman. There's nothing wrong with being submissive. make your man feel like a man! Allow your man to be a man!!! You don't have to constantly talk down and belittle your man to get your point across. All that neck rolling, name calling, and constant attitude is not the way to make a man want to put a ring on it but Beyonce left that part out of the song!

Smile more! Stop walking around with your nose turned up and forehead wrinkled up thinking a man is gonna approach you! They can spot that stank ass attitude a Mile away. We don’t smile enough. You know that annoying (often homeless) man on the street who says, “Smile, honey! You’re too pretty to be looking so unhappy!” He’s trying to tell you something. Men like women who are happy. Happy people smile.

Stop being so angry at ever black man that walks the Earth! . We can’t control what Black men do, who they date, or who they marry. They want to be happy just like we do, and they aren’t going to change their lives to make someone else happy if it means they will be less so. We should stop focusing so much on what Black men are and aren’t doing, and focus on what we can control—ourselves. I’m not saying that Black women are to blame for the decline of Black love but hey it could be one of the many variables. Stop blaming the white woman!!!! Same thing here. They aren’t “taking our men”. They’re living their lives just like everyone else.

Woman if every man you come In contact with tells you the same things guess what? EVERYBODY else is not the problem!! Look within yourself and see if you could possibly be pushing these men away! #ImJustSaying

All I'm saying is ladies it okay to be LADIES! Stop trying to be a damn man! If a man wanted a man well he would .... Nevermind you get my drift! It's okay to let Someone in. Tell your man you want to be held, make him feel wanted, needed, and be submissive that doesn't mean be a damn door mat but Shut the hell up sometimes! The bible defines submission as "yielding to another's desires without resistance" now yielding to desires I interpret that is doing what it takes to make your partner happy. That doesn't mean allow them to treat you like shit. Now some of you may interpret it differently or not believe in a higher power or have different beliefs and that's okay too. These are just my opinions but what the hell do I know I'm still single my damn self. LOL