Get Better Not Bitter! Real men VS the womanizer.. A struggle for happines

So I was on Twitter last night, like I always am and I ran across last night's TT: #agoodboyfriend. It was the same ol, same ol. Men and Women talking noise on both ends. First off, the whole good spouse debate is pointless. Its pretty much subjective. What I consider a good partner, might not be what you consider a good one. I know girls who have men that cheat consistently but hey as long as he come home, he's the best boyfriend in the world. And that works for them. You got the overly sensitive crying boyfriend....that may work for you, but may not work for me. Actually, it won't. I say it would, but it won't. Don't do that. I like PDA, some girls don't. Like, I said its subjective.
But the thing that got me the most was the amount of girls who were like a good boyfriend or man doesn't exist. Thats what I like to call "Bitter Woman Syndrome" from what I know is not the most attractive trait to have but what made me really sit back and wonder how did she get tht way? What makes these women so "damaged"?
Me myself going through my own Individual issues had to sit back and really think about because truth be told all men are NOT the same, and yes there are good men out there.

Problem is within ourselves &our personal choices how many times have we women gave the "nice guy" the cold shoulder or for the guy with the flashy car instead of the guy with a steady job, strong family values and a monthly bus pass. There are just so many different variables I don't even know where to begin.

But let me stop there and talk about the men that do make women feel this way. In the woman's defense I will say that these bitter woman typically was at one point the good girl the loyal girl the girl that every man claims they want. They are over turned by heart break and disappointment and turned to bitter angry nagging insecure unstable creatures. This is from simply dealing with guys or boys if you will claiming to be "REAL MEN"

Too often the depiction of a real man is one who bullies others, is opinionated, harsh and tough.A real man doesn’t use his fists or strength to define himself as such. a real man treats women with respect. A real man doesn’t abuse a woman physically or mentally. Make your own fortune. A real man does not accept handouts or charity. He works hard to support himself and his family.. Stay true to your word. A real man knows that keeping a promise is stronger than physical strength. Keep your word in all matters, business and personal. You will gain the respect a real man warrants. They support their family both financially and emotionally the man is suppose to be the head of the household and he should act as such.
We often hear the term “imma a real nigga” and in most cases u are just that to the true definition meaning, ignorant!! Lack of education and ignorance guide our black men to be everything else but what real men should really be! They become hustlers and rappers instead of husbands and fathers. Often these are traits passed down from generation after generation of broken unstable & dysfunctional homes. A real man knows the difference between what’s important and what isn’t. A real man doesn’t waste time on stupidities that don’t bring him any profit. Sure, there are things you can do as a hobby — I like to rap— but it must have a purpose. If its not paying the bills or supporting your family then it is a HOBBY!!! These real niggas often men with "mommy" or abandonment issues become Womanizers,lust addicts, and casa novas. Now that doesn't necessarily mean their rude disrespectful dogs. Womanizing comes in all forms but the most dangerous ones aren't those kind any lady with half a brain can spot them a mile away.

The dangerous ones are the Charming, attentive, interested, witty, flirtatious -- these are all traits of a womanizer. A womanizer knows exactly how to make a woman feel special, different from the rest, and like his one and only. The only difference between a womanizer and a good man is a womanizer acts in this manner to get in your pants, not your heart. Being able to differentiate a good man from a womanizer is not as easy as we'd like it to , most commonly come in disguise as "Mr Right"
He's overly complimentary. "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." "You're gorgeous, and I don't throw that term around lightly." "I've never been able to open up with a woman the way I have with you." If he says all of this within the first 15 minutes of the date, then he's probably wants one thing and he is a WOMANIZER. Where there is smoke, there is fire, if he has a reputation of being a player or smooth Stevie J type of dude he probably didn't get that way from being a genuine guy and chances are you probably can't change him. And why would you waste your time trying? Guys like this are happy as long as they are getting what they want and have no intention of making you anymore that what you are currently.

He says all the right things in all the right ways , He’s Mr. Future. Unless you’re a woman who is committed to being single, chances are you’re at least open to the idea of meeting someone to eventually settle down with. Womanizers know that, which is why they become Mr. Future. “We can do this, and we can do that, and we can go here and there.” Everything is we, we, we. Womanizers know how to give us what we want, but feel no guilt when they take it away.
He doesn’t have platonic female friends. A womanizer doesn’t need platonic girl friends because he’s interested in all of them. You can’t be platonic if there is sexual chemistry, right? He texts other girls, regularly. If he’s hanging out with you and is constantly on his phone texting other girls, chances are he’s not just interested in you. He’s king of nicknames. Sweetie, babe, baby, honey, darling, these easy pet names are the perfect way to make a girl feel special without mixing up real names. He typically keeps his cell phone locked. Men like to be shady in general. They rarely like anyone in their business, but if he’s got his phone on lock down and gets mad when you even glance in its direction, there is a reason for his secrecy.
They become enraged when their questioned or "caught" so to say!

Ok let me stop there and move on because I'm rambling and getting insight from personal experience that is completely of track of wht I'm trying say!

The point I'm trying to make Is that life is about choices and decisions. And people can only do what you allow. So with that being said don't let these men make you bitter ladies because in the end you only lose yourself and your own happiness & joy and they go on with there lives living and still subliminally controlling you through your own anger. Let it go! Remember at one point that is what you wanted and what made you feel happy to some extent and leave with that memory alone.

If I told you about some of the guys I've dated, you'd ask me why I wasn't a lesbian yet. Or why my ass is so skippy and gung ho about finding a good man one day. It takes a lot of energy to hate an entire species. Trust me, I know. I'm always angry. It takes a lot of work. I feel like when you walk around when that type of negative mentality don't be surprised at what you get. Negative people attract negative people, negative friendships, negative relationships. I understand after you get your heart broken the first time, or first few times the first thing we think to do is put our guard up. I'm all for it. You've got to be more cautious to protect yourself and really learn not to fall in love in a week. But by guard, I don't mean a titanium wall, protected by an electric fence with your bitter ass homegirls as your front yard bulldogs. I see that a lot too. We get so worried about getting hurt again we don't let anything fly. And thats damn near pointless too.

At some point you just gotta live!

We all know letting go is one of a relationship is one the hardest things to do no matter the cause. Recovering from love and heartbreak is definitely no easy task. We all wanna believe that our relationships will last forever but that's just not realistic in very relationship. Yes and I know you can't just turn your feelings off the way you turn off a light switch but u have to at some point realize that if what you have is hurtful then it is not love.

Allow yourself time to heal before jumping I to the next disfunctional relationship and dumping all your emotional bitter baggage on his shoulders from someone else. That then turning him into a womanizer and the vicious cycle continues! Allow yourself time to heal and be whole so you can live & he happy again.

But most importantly let go of the past it's over! It's gone! Can't change it so just learn from your mistakes and move forward.