Thankful for my struggles....

As we approach Thanksgiving I'm sitting and trying to explain the true meaning of Thanksgiving to my daughter and I couldn't help but think, I reflect on thankfulness and the past few months. It's been a hard year coming out of a recent recession & dealing with multiple family problems… I keep coming back to the most basic question- For what things are we thankful?

Conventional wisdom would indicate that we are usually thankful when life is good- or- when things go our way- or when things work out in our favor. And while we may not be great at giving thanks to God on a regular basis during the good times, we each know that the regular rhythm of our life ought to be in thanksgiving to God.

However, and maybe to your surprise, the Scriptures go even further than simply giving thanks during the good times. They point us to a place where we give thanks in our pain, our heartache, our weakness, and in our loss.

This year I am thankful for my struggle, I am thankful for all the hard times I've endured and lived to tell about it. I'm Thankful for the strength & wisdom I've gained while making a way out of no way. I've been humbled this year to say the least and I'm thankful for the reality check I have received. Im Thankful for everything I've lost because it made me realize how much I can live without. I'm thankful for all the idiots I've met along the way because I can truly appreciate the sincere people in my life.

I'm can feel myself growing up as things that were once so important have so little meaning. People's thoughts and opinions affect me less. I'm learning to live for moments that take my breathe away and people that share those moments with me.

"I asked God to protect me from my enemies & I started losing friends"

I am thankful that in my times of need that the people in my life revealed the depth of their loyalty or lack there of!

I'm thankful for all the new people I've come in contact with that have reminded me how much worse things could be or simply shared just their struggle and trusted me with no ego. When people share their struggles in life as part of their journey towards healing, I am always impressed. Some share out of a deep place of healing, others share as part of a process of moving towards healing and still others share as a cathartic release of emotions and thoughts. When people share their stories out of a place of genuine humanity, it is holy. It is also a privilege to be let into their lives in some small way.

This week I have been inspired by a few folks who have reminded me of the courage to publicly share struggles, not only for their own healing, but for the healing of others. Their words are powerful.

Appreciating the person I am and the gifts that I have, something occurred to me. I don’t give full credit where credit is due. Yes, I give thanks for the pleasurable, comforting and rewarding experiences of my life. But I forget that I owe much of my thanks to something totally different—life’s struggles.

My inner strength was not developed through picking flowers and partying every day. Instead, I am the strong, resilient woman that I am because I’ve chosen to get back up repeatedly after being knocked down.

Each time I suffered a little, I gained a little more strength. When I suffered greatly, I gained even greater resistance to weakness and realized that I set my own limitations.

Integrity didn’t become one of my strongest character traits because I’ve only been exposed to honest, fair and noble people. I learned the importance of this characteristic by being hurt by those who lacked it.

I am the person who I am today, not because I had a perfect childhood or the most supportive friends, but because that wasn’t always so. I am the person who I am today, not because I’ve always trusted the right people and made the right decisions, but because I sometimes screwed up.

I am not resourceful because everything and everyone have always been there for me. Instead, I learned resourcefulness because of what was NOT there. Thanks to life’s struggles, thanks to the experience of lack, I learned to create or workaround what isn’t laid at my feet.

No matter who you are, there is something wonderful about you. You have something that is of great value to family, friends, strangers, and the Universe as a whole. So, here is the challenge: As you appreciate everything you have to be thankful for, don’t forget about your struggles. Life’s struggles need not be something that you loathe, regret and avoid. They have value. And that value trickles down to create the whole of you and me.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein

He's just not that into you .....

We all remember the movie comical clever but a harsh reality for some women! "He's Not that into you" You know the now famous line that originated from HBO’s “Sex in the City” and how after hearing it the whole dating world came to make sense to Miranda. Well, she wasn’t the only one it made sense to. It really resonated with me and brought my whole dating life into perspective. "He's just not that into you"
If your guy always/constantly puts his friends and his plans in front of you then he's just not that into you.
We all have had the crush that went on for months and sometimes even years without going anywhere no matter what we did or didn’t do. For a period of time we would comfort ourselves by saying that he just didn’t know we were serious, he's waiting for me to prove i can be the woman he wants etc etc We constantly make excuses for their behavior and give them the benefit of the doubt in hopes that possibly they are just too busy! The minute you stop making excuses for people you will begin to see them for exactly who they are! Now then there's the guy who's alway out with friends but makes no time for you yea that bro's before hoes shit was probably a valid argument from grammar school up to about 10th grade depending on the guy but after that, if he knows you and still behaves like that hea either extremely childish or he’s not interested. If he wanted you for anything he’d ask for it. However, that’s just too hard and/or sad to face because we are awesome so how could he not be into us and furthermore, if we’re not busy liking him what are we going to do with our attentions? Been there, done that. Let’s just focus on ourselves and making them achingly dwell on the fact that they missed out on their chance with us.
How about the guy that we actually are dating but acts like we are the last priority when they are not with us because he’s busy with work, friends, family or other commitments? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that there’s a future with this guy. Chances are very good that he’s never going to appreciate you for more than he does now, someone that’s willing to wait around until he has time for you. You deserve more than that. If he was really into you, you’d never question why he isn’t spending time with you because he’d be spending as much time as you wanted.
How about the guy that would prefer to be with another girl over you? The only thing that she has that you don’t is him. And frankly, it’s better that way. You should never be second choice, part time chic or treated like an option! Treat me like an option and ill treat you like an object #Replaceable. You always want to be his first choice. Then you’ll know he’s really into you.

Guys use a different language with girls that they want to keep around in case they change their mind or are loosely dating. It's called boyspeak. If he's giving you some semblance of the truth or an outright lie then he's giving you boyspeak and that is biggest of indicators that he is just not that into you. If a guy never bothers to ask if you're seeing someone or if you have a man is probably only interested in one thing and could care less If you have a man, he's secretly hoping you do so he can make a swift escape after pulling up his jeans. If the only effort he makes to see you is for one thing and he never asks to take you out or around his friends or family he's just not that into you!

But then sometimes they are into you & may genuinely just have a busy life well fellas let me say this if you are interested you better make an effort & make it quickly. Woman chose to lose interest quickly when they feel they're not getting the attention they want! Or cant decipher if your genuinely busy or just a damn good bullshitter! Well I do anyway I can't speak for everyone but if you give me too many suspect excuses I'll lose interest quick af! Send me to voicemail too many times I'll delete your number quick af but that's just me.... I'm the type if a dude hang up on me he thinking he giving me time to cool off by I'll be done changed my number so fast and have him talking to the operator confused as fuk! Please believe if a man cares about you he's gonna hear you out regardless if he wants to or not! Because he knows if he doesn't he takes a chance at losing u!

At the end of the day trust your instinct follow your guy feeling! If You just don't trust the man. And what's a relationship if you don't have trust? Sit with your thoughts and come to grips with why you don't believe him. If the relationship is that important to you, after you do some soul searching and thinking on your own, sit him down for a talk. Work things through — find out what the problem is, and try to remedy the situation before it gets even more difficult.



It seems like When a guy meets a girl he likes. He starts talking to her, and there's electricity in the air. Attraction. He can tell she likes him. A lot, even.

She tells him all kinds of things about herself, her eyes wide and filled with excitement. It feels as though there's a bubble around them, in which only they exist; the outside world falls away.

For a while, as time passes, the energy and enthusiasm only builds. It builds and builds, until it hits a peak; a crescendo. And then... it begins to fade.

The guy panics mentally; he doesnt know what he's getting hisself into he can tell he's losing this girl, whom he felt so sure was his only minutes before. He works hard, trying to turn things around, to reignite the passion that was there. But alas, his efforts fail, and the fire dies.

He's fallen victim to a painful fact of life and love: attraction has an expiration date.

But what's more painful is, guys almost never realize this is why they failed. Usually they assume it was a value problem, or that they need to get better at maintaining attraction.

If only they knew the truth: they did just fine with attraction. It was, ultimately, that failure to act in a timely enough manner or put forth the appropriate effort that led them to losing the girl.